The fat and thin of it

Discipline,not one of my strong points(mind you i have very few of them...strong points i mean)but then again,its been two years now and i have i must admit been rather regular at the gym.Two reasons,one sheer guilt(when one shells out that kind of money,guilt will follow),the other is that i can enter shops try out clothes and no go into depression(never mind that i am visiting plus size shops).To be so regular is new to me,but then again the papers and tv are so full of good health exercise,diet and what have you that i could give a lecture of the power of exercise and one would believe i am an expert.Unfortunately,like all things intangible,there are no rights and wrongs or so it seems.So one day they tell me to tuck my stomach in(very important for a good work out).What they don't tell you is that if ones stomach arrives before the rest of the body,then chances are that no amount of tucking in is going to make a difference.I never know if the stomach is tucked in because there is too much to tuck.Well when i protest loudly they tell me not to worry,it seems that the body stores fat around the stomach.No one bothers to tell me why some of the real big built woman in other parts of the world don't have the same problem(marks and spencers have gad jets or rather inner wear to deal with this problem).The solution however according to one trainer is to do ab crunches or exercises for the stomach.I try and try and get out of breadth.When that fails the next girl tells me that increase in cardio exercises will burn fat and therefore the stomach will disappear.So i run and jump and row and horror or horrors,the stomach which looked like it was on the verge of disappearing.....actually came back.Now unfortunately the smart trainers at the gym have worked on my upper body and lower body.They always leave the difficult parts(middle) to the end.And now i am left with skinny legs,muscular arms(i can put weightlifters to shame) and a stomach that arrives in a room a few hours before the rest of the body.Is this a bad situation or just plain funny.The jury is still out on that one.Unfortunately i have signed up for another year(thanks to one of those limited offers)and i wonder now what i will look like a year down the line.Honestly for the kind of money i spend trying,i might as well head to London,invest in one of those smart pieces of clothing which actually make one look slim and be done with it.And to think i developed discipline in the process.Guess like they say,there are some clouds with silver linings...huff and puff