Mummy's day out

It's a much awaited day on the calendar,the day my mother decides or is forced to exist home after six years a to make a long trip up the hills to her other daughters home. The last visit was an astronomical disaster which left my mother so shaken she swore never to set foot in the hills again. Let's go back a few years,there she was in my home,staying with us because my dad had just passed away,wondering if she had to spend the rest of her life being shunted from one daughters house to the other. While she was getting used to the idea we carted her off to the hills. Everything about the trip was a disaster. The last time my mother traveled was twenty five years ago and since then the world had changed and not for the better. The trains were air conditioned but crowded,space being at a premium. The stations had no facilities for old people which meant a long walk to the compartment. For someone whose only walk is from bedroom to kitchen this is a daunting tast. Getting off at an unearthly hour when most sane people are asleep we took a cab up the hill with no help from motion sickness,only to find that the house was situated on a steep hill which left your breathless after a few steps,and when one finally reached the house it was cold and damp with no heating. Enough to put even a veteran traveller off visiting and for my mother a promise of a one month holiday ended in a week and me who was the travel agent cum companion bore the brunt of her frustration and ire. Back to the present and once again we planned a holiday to the same hills but this time the scenario is a little different. For starters my mother and I are going on a blind visit. We haven't seen this new house but have heard much of it,the husband is now my travel companion and he is an eternal optimist and can see the bright side of things always. He is a micro manager which means he will think of anything and everything. This time my role is that of companion and chief of prayer. I have bombarded heaven with my prayers I am sure god is soon going to be deaf with my constant pleas. We get an air conditioned station wagon to take us to the railway station,my husband has organised a buggy ride to the compartment which leave my mother delighted,he's booked us first class which means a clean cabin to ourselves and he has organised a break in journey for her to rest before going up the hills,a rest to recoup and an opportunity to meet her great grand children. My mother at eighty three is not easy but the husband had got it all organised. We arrive at out first stop to find that this station has no facilities for the old and the infirm and are forced to walk a great lenght to the car. The mother has gotten tired,and the early hour has left her sleep deprived and exhausted. Thankfully the grandson is on hand and the home is read and the bed made so she can sleep. It takes till five in the evening for her to regain her spirit and I am greatful that one half of the trip is done and dusted. My mother however for all her anxieties,can be pretty entertaining. The husband who had never travelled with her is in shock at her comments on several fellow passengers. Because she is a bit hard of hearing my mother thinks it's ok to speak loudly,she also believes that not too many people speak her language so she is busy firing one liners and laughing her head off at people. I shush her up as best as I can but the husband is seeing a new side to his mother in law and is not sure if he needs to encourage such behaviour or to just ignore it,but we are both happy to see her laugh,can be so bad a journey can it if she finds it so amusing.

Tomorrow is another day and I plan to spend the night storming heavens gates with my prayers for a safe trip up the hills after all I do have vested interest....I am trying to escape the heat of the city and take a much need break from mummy sitting so I need this time to be happy for all of us and thus we come to the end of mummy's day out

The elections

Born into a malayalee family it's no surprise that I am opinionated and political. Most of us are so from the time I turned eighteen my father made sure I exercised my right to vote and I have done so ever since . Being Christian ,married to a Hindu,with a fair number of Muslim friends,I grew up not having to know anyone's religion to be friends with them so it's scary and disturbing when the Indian elections throw up such hatred and below the belt jibes which lowers the discussion on serious issues and leaves me wondering why after being a decent country,we have suddenly become such bigots. The social media which is fairly new to most of us,is a real offender. All over it people are getting worked up (me included) and friendships (not the real strong ones) are being destroyed simply because some ruthless power hungry politicians have made us take sides. Do I blame the politicians ...well not really,their have always wanted power and will go to any lengths to get it,that is what they do. What disturbs me is not their shrill rhetoric but the gullibility of educated people who can fall for ad campaigns,social media vitriol and myths . Somewhere in the back of my mind I have always held a thory that education (the academic kind and not the broadening of the mind) has made us more narrow minded and more selfish. The average poor Indian will take the bribes and handouts given to them but will make a decision based in a completely different set of rules. We the educated instead,will rant and rave on social media and then sit and home and watch TV and get more worked up and come Election Day some of us will realise rather late in the day that our names are not on the list or we will discover a party which we simply can't attend or we will proudly announce that we use the none of the above option so no one wins....well the whole idea is to get someone to govern . Imagine if all of us (thank god we are a small minority of urban educated elite or so we are branded) opted for the none of the above option....we will be left with a country with no government. How foolish is that. This election for my city is just a day away and then I will have to vote for the ones I think will be better than the ones existing but it still leaves me disturbed

The elections

Born into a malayalee family it's no surprise that I am opinionated and political. Most of us are so from the time I turned eighteen my father made sure I exercised my right to vote and I have done so ever since . Being Christian ,married to a Hindu,with a fair number of Muslim friends,I grew up not having to know anyone's religion to be friends with them so it's scary and disturbing when the Indian elections throw up such hatred and below the belt jibes which lowers the discussion on serious issues and leaves me wondering why after being a decent country,we have suddenly become such bigots. The social media which is fairly new to most of us,is a real offender. All over it people are getting worked up (me included) and friendships (not the real strong ones) are being destroyed simply because some ruthless power hungry politicians have made us take sides. Do I blame the politicians ...well not really,their have always wanted power and will go to any lengths to get it,that is what they do. What disturbs me is not their shrill rhetoric but the gullibility of educated people who can fall for ad campaigns,social media vitriol and myths . Somewhere in the back of my mind I have always held a thory that education (the academic kind and not the broadening of the mind) has made us more narrow minded and more selfish. The average poor Indian will take the bribes and handouts given to them but will make a decision based in a completely different set of rules. We the educated instead,will rant and rave on social media and then sit and home and watch TV and get more worked up and come Election Day some of us will realise rather late in the day that our names are not on the list or we will discover a party which we simply can't attend or we will proudly announce that we use the none of the above option so no one wins....well the whole idea is to get someone to govern . Imagine if all of us (thank god we are a small minority of urban educated elite or so we are branded) opted for the none of the above option....we will be left with a country with no government. How foolish is that. This election for my city is just a day away and then I will have to vote for the ones I think will be better than the ones existing but it still leaves me disturbed

April and the summer is here

April is the cruelest month according to T S Elliot and in more ways than one it is true for me to. In march I gave myself a holiday from exercise and let me tell you it was great fun to be lazy,to sleep late into the morning to eat at will and generally do nothing but at my age even good things have to end or the actual end may come faster then I am prepared for. It's just a week into April and I have been exercising every day,yoga,swimming and cutting down on the eating. There are two delicious slabs of halwa waiting to be eaten in fact begging to be eaten but I have ignored them and left them in the fridge. One is being donated to an elder sister who has endless guests so my guilt is taken care of. I have kep a diary of all that I eat and am cutting down on my favourite rice. Now the heat and dust of an Indian summer is well and truly here and like every year I actually hope that all my fat melts but it never happens so I drink fruit juice and sweat it out,not because I have to but simply because I live in a city which has probably the hottest summers ever. It's humid and miserable and enough to dampen more than just the soul but the flip side is that one is forced to do all the exercising in the early morning which leaves one the whole day to do other things and one big chore is out of the way. I have stayed away from the weighing scales as they have a nasty habit of giving me the wrong figures though they are always right about the husbands weight. The big bonus this month is that I have had to give up my exercise buddy but found that the husband was actually willing to replace her for a month so obviously the gods are against me too....no excuse for the wicked I say.

Much as I love to crib the point is that I am secretly enjoying myself. The water in the pool is warm and washes over me like a blanket. I can swim before sunrise and beat the heat too. My yoga class is also going well and it's nice to have company from home as I don't even have to drive the car to class this month. The husband is exercise buddy and chauffeur this month,what bliss.

All this because my body mind and should do not see eye to eye. The pull in different directions and I can't get them to be friends and like typical enemies they are constantly pulling each other down with me caught in the middle.....but what they don't realise is that they have no choice but to stick with me so there I am going to teach them who is the boss . This is only week one and if I can keep this up the entire week well that's mission impossible accomplished 

My exercise holiday

For many years now I have been exercising every day almost. Have tried many things,for the first few years it was hitting the gym,and only the guilt of having paid so much for the membership kept me going. After four years of doing the same thing with hardly any results (I continued to be the same weight as before though I was always healthy) I decided it wasn't for me. Then I took up yoga and continued for five years of almost regular attendance . I like the slow pace and the calming effect and the fact that it is done first thing in the morning and kind of sets the agenda for the day. Swimming I took up to prove to myself that an old dog can be taught new tricks. I am a slow swimmer but can swim for an hour and be very happy. I have been swimming for three years. This month a nasty cold caught hold of me and put paid to any exercise so I decided to take an exercise holiday especially after blood tests proved that I was in the pink of health. I feel guilty about doing nothing (though I enjoy my laziness). Someone told me that a habit takes only twenty one days to form and as they say habits are supposed to die hard. Well I have been doing all manner of exercise in the last six years but it's always been a big ask to get me going. The fact that mostly guilt guids me is one thing,it's just that despite all of this I can't make exercise a habit. Dedication is not my thing at all and as for commitment well it's skipped me by totally. I know I eat too much but I do cook rather well and I know I must exercise but I just can't. My friends are all dedicated exercise people and nothing seems to bother me. Unfortunately I can't seem to get away from it. The icing on the cake was when a neighbour who normally never talks to me...actually asked me why I haven't been going for yoga. Now am I so fat that even the neighbourhood is concerned? .i promise myself everyday that today is the day and that day is still coming. My mother who normally frowns at my swimming obsession has asked me why I haven t been swimming. It look like the whole world is conspiring against me so well....maybe I should do something g about it. My exercise holiday just isn't so blissful after all

The elections and he debates

It's election time in India and despite having worked in media or perhaps because of this I find the TV debates biased,hysterical and just playing to the gallery. It's an entertainment show unlike the BBC debates or other international media where facts are discussed and not emotions. Our media does random voting at TV shows. For instance today I watched a show where the audience consisted of youngster s from cities all rather too young to vote. Half do them have no understanding of the economy but are asked to vote in the subject. The panelists are all experienced men but the show is all about putting words into peoples mouths,no substance but plenty of entertainment. Those of us you worked in media know that the show must bring in advertising revenue. Today even journalists are marketing persons,they sell what the advertisers want. Unfortunately marketing has taken over so much of our lives that even the election is all money power and marketing. Everyday we have some thing thrown at us about how one man can change the world. Not since Jesus Christ have we had such blind faith in one man. Unfortunately none of the men. Who claim to change our country have any idea what we want. Our welfare is far from their minds,their own ambition overrides all else. Finally  we are left with a crowd of disjointed candidates all of whole we know cannot deliver a stable government or progress along with social justice. Will we ever see change for the better?. I am willing to settle for a stable political environment where all of us are living in peace. Sadly today we are being made aware of our many differences of culture,religion etc despite having lived peacefully for many years . Because he choices are so limited we try and make sense of what media says but when even that is all hype and hoppla one wonders,what at we basing our choices on....god save our country.

Online myths

Going online for things is alien for me as is buying ,selling and all. eBay was never my thing but because I believe that one must know how all things work,I decided to go online to rent out my flat. Old fashioned me believes in doing some research so there I was looking for possible rents for the area so I went on to an Indian rental service website which has been advertised so heavily that I expected not just the earth and the moon but also the stars. Suffice to say I got nothing at all. When I couldn't find what I was looking for I did an advance search and put on location and various other parameters and what I got was rents for apartments in places at least forty five to fifty kilometers away from the location chosen. Now explain to me how this is of anyrelevance. So who actually updates these sites,and let me tell you I didn't stop with one. The point is that each area commands a different rate,each product demands a different set of parameters,so what is the idea of giving one every choice available most of which is irrelevant. This is my problem with internet these days and especially with the Indian web sites. Of ourse we Indians demand a lot more,we are the kind who love to search for the best bargains and all that but honestly if I wanted to do that wouldn't I just go driving around in my car. Talking to all and sundry why would I click on something from the privacy of my home only to be given data which is of no use to me....what irks me most ofcourse if the constant ads that these sites run,all of them telling us how we can change our lives in seconds (that in itself should have warned me,where does anything happen in seconds?. Even god took seven days for heavens sake). Thanks to having grown up with no internet,I have all my age old fallback options,friends,phone calls,etc etc so it's back to good old legs to do the walking and coversations that will throw up the next best thing. As for online checking,well I will indulge in to just to pick holes but never to do serious business.

The sound of music

It's been six years to the day that my father passed away,six years since I quit work,six years since my mother came to stay with me. A long time but it doesn't feel that way. I still can't bring myself to visit his grave,though I am more than happy to visit graveyards in other countries. The trauma is too much for me. I believe the first time someone in ones family dies is the most difficult of times,and despite the time I wake up with nightmares of that time. But over the years I have tried to put away the bad memories and focus on the good. Today was one such. Surfing the tv channels looking for something to view I came across the movie...the sound of music. A great believer in signs to me this was one such. Many years ago,I think I may have been six though I can't be sure. The movie was playing to packed houses in madras at one of the premium cinemas of that day. The novelty of wide screen was a big event in our city and my father wanted me to share the excitement . The memory of it is etched in my mind,how much is truth or just my imagination I can't tell but I did see the movie in wide screen,I remember eating sandwiches my mother had packed which my father carried in a worn green leather bag that the same one he took to office. I remember him telling me to look out for Maria coming in from the far end of the screen. I sat spellbound and to this day the scene where the captain and Maria finally decide to come together and that song is what defines romance for me. Hills beautiful green and the alps in all their majesty was for my six year old mind,the ultimate experience. That movie I held on to and to this day when I am feeling sad I simply remember the movie and I feel happy. Last year I finally fulfilled my dream of wandering around Salzburg and reliving the movie. Today as I remember my father the one memory I hold dear is my sound of music experience and so with gratitude I watch the movie and feel happy many years after my father has gone and I am no longer a six year old ....memories such as this is what defines life and for that I am for ever grateful .

 

Frumpy me

The new year dawned and with it a vague sense of unease. I have been trying in vain to pin it down to a reason but all reason seems to fail me. Yet I have noticed little things....I am just a tad bored. Unlike other years I don't have a project this time around. Then I notice that my wardrobe is full of clothes I don't wear and as the years roll nut they are becoming faded and dated like yours truly. My once fashionable clothes have given way to a kind of uniform....all day sees me in shorts and t shirts,the evening give way to t shirts and track pants. My high heals have given way to flats and my flats have given way to running shoes....oh no don't get me wrong there is no running in this life. Hush puppies and sky high boots have been replaced by stodgy Clark's . The once coiffed hair has given way to a birds nest which at best of times I battle with and the one time I put a hair dryer to it,I have to make an SOS call to the hairdresser. My beautiful midnight blue mascara is languishing thanks to disuse....I am sure my neighbours might think me a bit mad if I wore shorts,t shirt and blue mascara even I couldn't carry that off though I do most things. My make up kits are now used on unsuspecting nieces who have no choice but to let me "make them up". I haven't heard a complain which means I am good at what I do. My designer handbags have given way to a mop. Yes a mop if you please,as in cleaning the floors. The only spreadsheet s that I use now are to make notes on fish prices or to make meal plans for my never ending guests.

All symptoms of becoming a frump I think. So drastic action has to be taken. Except for church where I still manage to go well presented to meet my maker,I have decided that all clothes will be donated to girls who could use them. Unfortunately they may have to pin and tuck to get them to be serviceable after all I did pile on some weight over the years. I have solved the handbag problem.i had donated them early and now use hand me downs of my well travelled sisters. Having figured out my basic problem (turning into a frump) I am still left with the strange sense of unease. I blame kindle for that. Having worked long and hard in the corporate sector we were conditioned to believe that most things that can be had for free must be taken for free,so we learnt to get everything sponsored. Now here it am very loathed to buy books online or offline. I need to read a book a day and all the classics are free online and I have read them all in my lifetime so here I am going cross eyed by the hour hunting down free books.  The vague sense is still there,somewhere something is up and if I do get to the bottom of it then I will make notes but for now the idea is to make frump a fashionable state of being.

Only time will tell

Growing up,we had parents who were as different as chalk and cheese in their attitude to life. My mother was conservative,docile (on the outside) and very hands on as far as parenting goes. Her life revolved around the comfort of her children . No demand was too much for her,baring not studying. She wanted us to make something of our lives so we were well fed,she being a brilliant cook and she spent hours teaching us,looking after us and generally doing everything and some to make our lives as comfortable as possible . She and my dad didn't agree on most things,their outlook to life being so different . My mother would worry about finances,about our health and so on. My father was a man given to loving the good things of life. Much as my mother would do without some luxuries,my father made sure he could enjoy life. He loved his food and drink,was reckless in many ways was more of an absent father not because he was working himself to the bone but rather that he was enjoying the company of his friends in the evenings. He lived his life on his terms and if we didn't understand those terms very many times it was too bad. He really couldn't care less. But having said that he did make sure we got the best education he could provide,he always told us economic independence was important for a woman and he didn't believe our role was that of housewife and mother (though he did think that was my mothers role).

Thus three children grew up in this environment and as adults all three of us in many ways are like chalk and cheese. I grew up with a fierce sense of independence,a determination to earn my living and to be economically independent. I live life on my terms but it came with a huge burden of responsibility. I believe it was my role to give back for all that I got,and for me that meant looking after my parents in old age,providing every comfort that I could afford. I married late (by Indian standards) as I was pretty sure that marriage should be a meeting of minds to be successful . My eldest sister was married very young and had two children in quick succession and for many years we didn't know too much of how she lived her life. While we didn't know too much,she in many ways also lived life on her terms,doing all the things that she enjoyed and a bit like my father she was and absent daughter,no phone calls no letters and few visits....things changed once she got older and now we see more of her. Both of us like our father like the good things in life,we will go after it,hunt out our food and drink to the extent that it is one of our prime passions. We have varied interests and seem to have a lot of fun....we have picked up a lot of traits of our mother but to a large extent a lot of our father can be seen in us.

My. Idle sister like most middle children remains a mystery. She like my mother is conservative to the point of being hilarious. She lives by rules,demands that rules are followed,even when they defy logic. She is a bit of a loner and is almost as negative as my mother but like my mother her heart is in the right place. She can be dependable but can also be overbearing . She like my mother has made sulking a fine art and will always have her way. She is as anxious as my mother and has very little of my father except for his domineering ways.

Today as we enter the twilight years of our lives I look back and wonder how three people who grew up in the same environment can be so different to each other. Does genetics or environment change our lives. What really makes us who we are.? I think the jury is still out on that one but I wait to see how the three of us will shape up in our seventies and eighties. Will we end up being crotchety old maids or will we be the merry wives of Windsor . Only time will tell

The many shades of new year

((This morning I got up and decided to look through the bulk of newspapers that had been delivers on this last day of the year and I must confess that it has left me very confused. Besides the main paper there were a number of supplements that advertised all manner of things to do today. Let me start with the list.

Most of them told us to eat excessively ,to drink even more (get drunk and bring in the year seems to be the mantra) though why one should be so drunk I wonder. Do the organisers have some inclination of how terrible a year this is going to be so are numbing us into oblivion?. There are many shows all involving dancing (most by foreign woman with very little clothes or local movie starts in equally less clothing). Why this grand obsession with white sking shows is beyond me,or for that matte why we we being subjected to the same old movie starts we saw all year around,doing the same things and why do people actually pay through their noses to see such shows. Obviously I am not the target audience.

While the hotels and resorts are busy telling us to eat and drink beyond reason,the local police force is coming down hard on drunken driving which I think is a very good thing but do you see the contradiction in these activities,we'll if you haven't take a look at the next lot of articles. The newspapers are full of advice on how to stay healthy,how to loose weight how to look good on the new year and which  health club and gym offer the best deals. We are told to eat more fruit and vegetables (nothing new there ) run,walk and swim and stay away from ancho and too much oil and rich foods but of course they still expect you to do all that to bring in the new year.....contradictions galore if you ask me. Everyone on some binge and then everyone one some other binge to stay healthy and if like me you are and old cynic then do what I do.....go over to the neighbours for an early meal,have a glass of wine,toast each other's health and head home to a good book and go to sleep and get up as refreshed as you can on the new year.....killjoy you may call me but I am happy and that's how it's going to stay.....happy new year world

The year gone by

It's just another day like all other days but for some reason it's different,just because it's the end if one year and the start of another. How can twenty four hours change anything?,but in our minds it does.

For instance why do I feel this sense of unease,why do I pray that the year should be as good as the one I am about to leave,why does it make such a difference. Honestly I don't know.

But before I get to all that's new,I must admit that two thousand and thirteen was one of the best years of my life,not too many close friends of family died ,not too many people I know fell ill,a lot got married,some went on to greener pastures and I did some travelling. I am superstitious about some things so I believe that what I do on the first of jean kind of determine what I do for the rest of the year,so this year I looked forward to travelling and did so on January second and because I started with a holiday. I felt I would do more holidays and I did. A lovely trip to Europe was the highlight,short trips to close by places,visiting friends having family over,all I'm all very many things to be happy about. Having my mother with us another year where her health stay ed stable was another added happiness.

Now as I look to the new year I haven't got too much planned so it makes me anxious. Having nothing to look forward to makes me nervous. I need projects....it's silly but true. I have a vague sense of disquiet but this too shall pass and I list the things to look forward to. I don't as a rule wish people on new year,yet another one of my silly habits,it makes me aware that a new year is around the corner,a year when I will grow older,my mother will too,more worries of old age etc but think of the bright side ...I tell myself,maybe our friends will meet more often,maybe just maybe I will loose weight (now that cheers me up and makes me laugh as it never happens). Overall I am thinking god for all the blessings of this year and hope to see a peaceful one next year and on that note I shall stop

Smart gadgets and me

I am what you would call a late learner so while my friends were all into the latest phone that money can buy,there I was with no mobile phone at all,simply because I thought it intrusive. However technology caught up with me and I was forced to get one,I went for style and utility and was happy for a while until the phone gave up. Obviously long term relationships and phones don't go together. One is I am told expected to change ones phone with every new model that comes into the market. I then got a hand me down phone from my sister which seems to serve the purpose rather well,or until such time as phones became not just phones (no one seems to make simple phone calls anymore),but came with "whatsap"and social net works and all manner of facilities that let people send photographs and messages for free,call all across the world for free and there I am still not up to all the changes. My friends and the husband tried convincing me to get a new smart phone but somehow the thought of a phone trying to be smarter than me doesn't quiet go down well with my way of thinking. Also the thought of peering in to a small screen is not something I want to do when even large print is an issue. So I settled for an iPad . Now all my friends were well into their third and fourth generation iPads and I was still reading physical books and using an out of date laptop. On holiday I still used a camera to take pictures while the whole world and his uncle took pictures on iPads and uploaded them for all the world to see in real time. I waited for an iPad that suited me. Not for me the thick heavy ones.....so I waited patiently till they launched and iPad air and then bought it right away. Having an ardent apple fan in the family helped,also the fact that Apple made gadgets that require no thinking to use. They obviously do all the thinking ahead and all I have to do is follow instructions. So while most people are using their gadgets to make high tech presentations and review sales figures here I am planning a Christmas party using formats already on the iPad,I am writing more simply because it's handy and I am not chained to a desk. The iPad is most often than not,in my kitchen,recipes are read,downloaded and there I am using it as much as I can. I am convinced of course that I am headed for early Alzheimer's as thinking seems to have taken a back seat and my brain cells are probably dying a slow death but for the moment this gadget is doing a good job and I can't say how happy I am that I didn't fall for the smart phone trap. And while I may not find my way around as easily as my younger nephews and nieces do,I am getting there as usual at my own pace and my own rules after all I have lived my life on my terms thus far so why let a gadget decide otherwise

The drama queen

We are a family of three girls and each one is more different from each other as chalk is to cheese. The most colourful of the lot is the eldest. From childhood she was lost to the world of literature and lived out her life as one character to the other. She was and still is a drama queen. Nothing is quite the same when my sister is around. Considering we lost her to literature it's not surprising that normal everyday life is beyond her. Her costume cupboard is extensive as is her kitchen but while she may know every bit of her costume cupboard,her kitchen is quiet another matter. My husband believes in order and systems so makes it his mission to rearrange her kitchen cupboard into some system that will work. Over the years he has discovered many thing in that cupboard that my sister didn't know existed. Her standard response is that she has no time to do anything (not surprising since she lives in an alternate world). While she is a fantastic cook and can churn out dishes Ina jiffy we are all a bit vary about her cooking. Very much like the witches in Macbeth her cauldron may be filled with things we are not too sure of.

When she comes to the city we brace ourselves for a stormy stay. From the time she arrives it's almost like a tornado has hit the house. Our collective stress levels go up as she jumps from one activity to the other. Endless cups of tea will be followed by never ending snacking and before you can say jack robins the kitchen will look like a bomb site. Visit her at her home in the hills and you can be sure that she will crib about her lack of space and this when the house is rather large. Her house is reminiscent of aladins cave.....all manner of treasures can be found if only you knew where to look. She very much like my mother, is a hoarder,not a bit of paper will be thrown away and after a few years she will be inundated with stuff she has no use for. 

Her love of drama is only surpassed by her love of cooking. Her love for English literature ensures that all cooking will be recipes from some English country scene so don't be surprised if you find roast chicken and Yorkshire pudding on the menu with mashed potatoes. She is probably more English than the average English person.

All her mad hatter behaviours is a great source of entertainment for the rest of the family. There is never a dull moment when she is around. All tales are colourful and depending on the audience she will add a few colourful angles to the story. My mother swears that this trait started long before literature took over her life. My mother in her youth was subjected to such tall tales from her eldest daughter that over the years she has learnt to take everything she says with a huge bag of salt. My middle sister despairs over the eldest and their conversations always end in tears. As for me I watch and listen and am entertained but her housekeeping skills can drive me nuts (this from someone whose housekeeping skills are nothing to write home about). My husband thinks the world may greatly benefit from her skills if only she would put it to good use by writing a book but as my sister is always telling us .....where is the time?

A wedding to remember

It's the wedding we have all waited for. A child we knew from when she was about  two is now a young woman ready to be a bride. It's a longstanding friendship that brings us to this wedding. The father of the bride is one of those rare human beings who can unite diverse people and bring them all on one platform. He has the ability to form friendships that last forever,change with times and still maintain his basic personality. I have seen him over the years growing from an executive,changing jobs,changing roles getting more and more confidant and now here is organising one of the biggest events of his life,the marriage of his daughter. He has called friends from twenty years ago and as we come to the venue it's almost like a class reunion,we are trilled to see friends we have lost touch with,people we haven't seen in years and as the hours move more and more friends arrive till it's one big party with every one catching up on years of catching up. It's a happy occasion in more ways than one and our friend has been behind it. His organisation is fantastic. The wedding venue is one of the finest I have seen in years,no usual rush of the big fat Indian wedding,no crowds at the meal tables,it's all running like clock work and everyone is happy. In a big fat Indian wedding which this one certainly is more often than not chaos is the name of the game,not so here. The reception is even better,it's like a big event,the venue is decked out beautifully and the bride and groom are not stressed,we all get enough opportunity to meet and greet the couple and at the end of it all the big gang of friends who have converged from all over the country are congregated in one big room to party on into the night. As someone who would skip weddings simply because I find them too stressful this is one wedding I enjoyed and will remember for years to come. A friend who always lives on the edge and for whom stress is a way of life,has pulled of one of the finest events of his life and I can't but take my hat off to him and his wife for doing what they did and for all the happiness they created in the bargain.

Chennai to Bangalore

It's one thirty on a December afternoon and after two years we are on our way to Bangalore by train this time . We take a slow train so armed with magazines and things to eat we board. The train has dull brown seats,faded interiors and is not clean (not to my standards in any case). With enough time to kill I indulge in my pet pastime of peoples watching. The first interesting people I spy are pretty unique. A young couple,he in shorts,a loose t shirt,flip flops and an interesting bandana on his head. She is in all black jeans t shirt and pullover,hair tied back in no nonsense ponytail. The reason I watch then is that the girl is talking non stop with a great deal of animation but it evokes not a single response from the boy. His expression is one of bored tolerance and not a single other emotion crosses his face,nor does he respond verbally. Strangely this had no effect on the girl she continues to talk until it's time for the train to move when the boy stirs from his apathy and follows her into the train.....I wonder what kind of relationship they have two individuals communicating despite looking to be in their own private universe.

The train finally moves and we are at once assaulted by food vendors who ply their wares non stop,unfortunately none of them are even remotely healthy,all deep fried and served with oil dripping off them enough to block all arteries with just one look. Having packed a reasonably decent picnic of egg and pork sandwich we are safe from having to eat the stuff.

Now I for one loves peace and quiet ,I love solitude and am more than happy to be in the company of silent adults on train journeys but unfortunately in a train filled to capacity with at least eight hundred passengers this is asking for the moon. I will settle for a bit of silence though but the tv in the cabin is on full blast and weather I want to or not I am forced to listen to whatever is going on. A child in front then sets up a wail that will wake the dead and not just the dead but by the sound of it an entire graveyard. The screaming continues unabated and the parents are either deaf having to listen to it on a daily basis or are so immune as as to not bother. By now I will willingly strangle the child who is giving me a splitting headache and I would do anything to get it to shut up. No such luck and I wonder why parents who are incapable of controlling their kids insist on travelling by public transport. The mother is helpless having another demanding toddler hanging on to her but the grandparents for some inexplicable reason seem to think it's all very cute and in the meanwhile I suffer in silence. Fortunately (we had figured this out ages ago) the mother decide the kid was hungry and shovelled some food into its mouth after which peace reigned.

All that racket has made me need a rest so I fall into a fitful sleep very soon only to be awakened again by food aromas. Deciding its time for tea I order one and have trouble keeping it down. It's one of those over milky,over sugary drinks far removed from what tea ought to taste like but nevertheless I drink it. Finally the passengers are winding down so I sit back and enjoy the view which is pretty green and rich after all this is December and the best time of the year in this state. By the time I write this the sun is dipping into the western horizon and daylight begins to fade,food now has moved from snacks and tea to something more wholesome to do with the time.

Despite the grime,the noise,the dreary and the beautiful landscape I still love train journeys.

Value for money

There is a lot to be said for good service.Honestly that is a subjective ,matter but for me if I feel happy after sampling something and is I feel I have had value for money then I would say it was good service .

So here I was wanting to spruce up for Christmas and wondering which place to go to for a good hair style and colour. Having looked at a few options my friend and I decided to go with one we had tried before despite them being more expensive or so we imagined. We have always had pretty decent seri ice in this place so there we were and we opted for a hairdresser we had used before. Considering how confused we were about the colour for our hair (our hair texture has changed over the years and needs a different feel) we plied him with questions all of which we're answered patiently and he spent and hour explaining how Indian hair was different from European ones and need to be treated differently,he took us through the colours explained how it would look and what we need to keep in mind by which time we were comfortable enough to let him do what he thought best. For the next three hours while my friend and I chatted the man did hair and then taught us how to style it ourselves and spent another few minutes explain gin the technique so there we were not just getting our hair coloured and styled but also getting a master class on styling.Now contrast this to my perivious experience where colour was slathered on and no explanations were given. I came away unhappy with the texture and color of my hair but had to live with it for a while and when all said and done we ended up paying the same at both places. Today we thought that we had got value for money both May friend and I were happy with the whole experience,the way our hair looked whereas in the previous place they styled it (if you can call that styling) it as they thought it should look and not the way I wanted it.

Now value for money was not so much in the fact that we went to an international chain of hair dressers but it was largely dependent on the fact that the service was on par with their salons in the rest of the world and that all the staff know what they are talking about . It's about the whole experience,it about the knowledge and the experience of going to an expert and then we do nt mind paying for it. Isn't it time for salons around the city to train their staff to such standards instead if it being just making a fast buck?. I for one am staying with the tried and tested thank you very much

The digital minefield

Learning is never that easy more so when one is in ones twilight years so here I am trying to get my head around the iPad Air...yes I actually decided to catapult myself into the new age digital world after finding to my dismay that people no longer went to bookstores and browsed books or for that matter even bought books. Deeply disappointed as I was with the bookstores which in my heydays was a place to hang out in and read and exchange notes,I was told in no uncertain terms that today the world belonged to kindle and iPad and tablets and all manner of digital technology hence the new acquisition. Unfortunately no one told me about the minefield that is the digital world. For the uninitiated let me explain that it's all about aps. I am guessing this is what in our day passed for applications. These are things that give one access to all manner of data (read books,music etc) and while a lot of them are free ,most of them are only gateway s to a better world. Get there and while one gloats over the abundance of books and music,one discovers as I did that all of it has to be paid for,or at least all the ones I want. I feel like a child in a candy store being offered all the goddies only to have it taken away . Right so then having no choice I decide to buy a book and then my troubles begin. First off one needs a credit card (which I have). Now we need a password and all manner do security levels to pass through. For the life of me I can't remember password so to boggle my mind with so many of them is in my opinion making my life more difficult however you may convince me of making it easier. Having a morbid fear do using online payment options means I am back to square one no books no music but on a device that demands that I have all of it. Now I stumble along and with trial and error find a few books which wonder of wonders actually download without asking me a hundred questions so thinking that like some modern day hacker I may have cracked a code I sit down to read. The books in page turning gripping and soon I am lost to it. End of chapter one and eager to find what's to come I find to my horror that once again I was subjected to child in candy store syndrome . I was allowed to read a sample and now need to buy the book if I want more. It obviously can't be as difficult as I make it out to be so I am giving me some time to master the technology and in the meanwhile the nephews (who are both pretty clued up on technology )are being put to good use. It is their responsibility to help me master this new age so as time goes by I Amy just become a geek and hold my own th he best of them but doe now I am a bit confused.

Dishwashers

Holidays for most people are about memories and photographs,for us its all that and more.Every time we come back from a holiday in Europe,we marvel at how self sufficient people are.The absence of maids and drivers and many helpers is what fascinates us.We then come back and try and replicate as much as we can here.
When i was working the house was run by a maid and a cook.My meals and general housework was dictated by them.A few months later I was sick of eating the same food and having to put up with a not so neat house but the freedom to sack anyone was not mine so i grit my teeth and continued.
Then I did the smart thing and got out of the rat race.My cook,not happy with the new member in the kitchen and uncomfortable with the competition (me being a rather good cook myself) decided to call it a day.He was a nice chap and told me that he didn't think I needed him and he needed to work for someone who actually didn't know how to cook.So we parted ways
The maid continued to stay but started grumbling soon enough at my demanding standards,the fact that I was constantly entertaining and the amount of vessels she had to wash.When her tantrums got the better of me I asked her to leave and took over her job too.
We were on our own now very much like our friends abroad except that we had not too many of the gadgets.
For years now I have hated housekeeping....cooking and gardening i can do but washing dishes and clothes is just not something I like doing.The washing machine does the clothes but for two years I felt tethered to the sink and its pile of dirty dishes.My kitchen was always full of vessels and my dining table was full of china kept out to dry.I kept harping about getting us a dishwasher but the husband was convinced it was a useless gadget.We discussed it at length for years but all feedback from friends and family in India who actually had one,wasn't encouraging.I was convinced but not the husband.
Then we went to Germany and stayed with friends and watched as dishes disappeared into the machine and the kitchen stayed clean and our friends had plenty of time to sit and chat with us.Our friends convinced the husband that the machine was one of the many must haves and it looked like we had a convert on our hands.
We came back and for some reason (like it always happens) there were ads advertising dishwashers (first time in our city),not too many but it looked like it may be the next big thing this Diwali.In the meanwhile I got proactive,called the store,did some research and checked prices and the reluctant convert was a full convert.
The machine arrived and like all new converts the husband is fanatical about it.He read the manual from cover to cover,he asked a hundred questions ,he showed it off to all the neighbours and he extolled its virtues like never before.Me I am happy that the dishes disappear,I have time on my hands to read (didn't realise how much time i spent washing dishes) and my kitchen is clean,neat and had loads more space.
If anyone in India says the machine cant handle washing Indian dishes then they are talking through their hat.Not the cheapest of gadgets but apart from my microwave oven this is by far the best gadget in the house.
Thank you German holiday and thank you German technology

The Austrian Alps

Its been two hours since we left home,driving through country roads till we reach theautobhan  and then its a long stretch of the most beautiful road with picturesque views on either side and not a pothole in sight.Not once does a pedestrian cross unexpectedly no do animals amble along the roads as they do here at home.

As we cross the boarder from Germany to Austria we are told that the beauty will be breathtaking.Unfortunately we are delayed and by the time we reach the rain is beating a steady rhythm on the roof of the car and the light fades and all we can see are looming shadows which look menacing in the dark.We arrive finally at a little village at the foot of the alps and are shown to our apartment which is a well appointed two room home for the next three days.We try opening the windows but the icy blast of an alpine wind makes us close it in a hurry.We snuggle up in soft feather pillows and equally soft duvets and drift off to sleep and the silence ensures we have a deep and dreamless sleep.
We wake next morning to a view that will forever stay in my memory as the most beautiful way to wake up.As I stretch lazily in bed the mountains beckon blue and inviting.Outside the window is the most pretty cottage I have seen,all wood,lace curtains twitch and the windows burst with flowerbed in a profusion of colour.I jump out to take it in and as i stand on the balcony the view outside is different.The grass is emerald green,the houses a deep dark wood interspersed with flowers and the village is surrounded by high alps.Some blue with pine trees,some with a touch of snow in the higher peaks.The air is so fresh my lungs (used as they are to polluted air) gasp at the purity of it all.I breath deep and get a mixture of fresh earth drenched in rain and mixed with hay and pine.

This is a little bit of Paradise I think until I am told that the day involves a climb into the high mountains.Used as I am to walking on concrete in a city with hardly any green,I am daunted at the very thought but looking around the cottage there are a multitude of reminders that god alone can help me get there.I pray a silent prayer and quote the psalm and literally lift up my eyes to the hills from where i hope to get help.

We set off at a steady pace and the walking isn't all that bad.We decide to talk a small walk up some nursery slopes (by Austrian standards) and walk all the way past the village.As we leave,we see less and less of people and the country side become more stark.The silence engulfs us and its a silence broken not by words but by the tinkling of cow bells and music from some distant churches.The hill seem to be alive with the sound of music but created by bells,the whistling of the wind in the trees and by the silence of the mountains.
We reach the lake and its emerald green perfection is broken only by a duck or two but otherwise its still.We stop to throw pebbles to create ripples and continue to walk.The path narrows and become steeper and my muscles grown with every step.Determined to do this I slow my pace,breath deep and find myself a pine stick to help me up.Its a slow amble but the stillness is what is the beauty as we walk in silence with our breaths breathing little rings as the air get colder and colder.We finally reach our waterfall and stop to wonder at natures beauty and drink from clear mountain springs.The water is clear and cold and refreshing so we wait awhile to enjoy it.The walk back is even better.Leaving the regular path we decide to take the forest path that meander through tall pine forests with gurgling brooks and gushing waterfalls.A lone bird sings in the trees and content cows munch the grass in such beautiful surrounding that I wonder how the milk must taste in these parts.We stop right there to drink fresh milk in an alpine cottage and fest at the creaminess of the milk.Its wholesome goodness is manna to the system.I gulp in a large glass and set off once again.

A lunch break at a lakeside place gives us yet another sense of the majesty of nature.In a space of some ten minutes while we wait for lunch,the alps put up a performance that no theater can beat.The rain falls like a torrent and the clouds turn dark and gloomy and threatening.Suddenly it stops and the light is back the sun shine albeit a pale sun but its back,then just as we bask in the warm sunshine,the clouds decent and once again we are shrouded in cold cloud.We reach out to feel the vapours and just as suddenly it all changes and we are faced with a clear bright day,the sun is shining with even more warmth,and the mountains and visible once again.We marvel at the performance and understand why the mountains are dotted with beautiful churches all singing praised to god and nature.We marvel at the simplicity of the people who live with nature and its many moods.People to whom all this is a way of life ,who graze their cows and sheep in the high alps and bring them down in the harsh winters.They breath clean air,untouched by multitudes of tourists,make their own cheese,butter and eat meat from animals reared on fresh grass and greens.

I offer a silent prayer of thanks to have been this close to such beauty.To see the world from the eyes of local people to be so far removed from the sweat and grime of my everyday life is truly a blessing.A memory to be cherished and enjoyed.