Nirvana

Nirvana....i think that's a state to reach when nothing touches you and youre beyond everything.I always wondered what it felt like.The man who wrote about it was wandering the wilderness in search of truth so I am assuming he was hungry and tired and physically exhausted.And when that happens your body and mind do reach another level.

The last few days have been one of trying to put some order into madness,but that's impossible when one is sleep deprived.So after some snatches of sleep,I get up and get going to get food ready,read the paper(an activity that can be missed and not affect life)look after the mothers need,have a quick bath and a cat nap and get going again because by then tea time has rolled around and dinner is round the corner.Do this a couple of days and the mind becomes numb and the body takes on a personality of its own.One is on auto pilot and nothing matters.One has reached that point in life when everything can just roll over,so i smile,entertain and continue to function on another level quiet apart from what i am really going through.It means that I am physically and mentally exhausted and I have attained nirvana....not a bad place to be considering I didn't have to smoke grass to get there....oops...tea time is here again

patience is a virtue

Patience is supposed to be a virtue and if that is the case then I am a little too virtuous for my own good and I don't like me.It also leaves one physically and mentally exhausted.It means having to put up with every ones whims and fancies,having to put up with inefficient service providers and not loose ones cool and having to wait in suspense for everything.How this can make anyone virtuous is beyond me.Right now I am being bounced around by one person to the next because they cant trace a courier,thanks to a local holiday and a Sunday in between.

Yesterday I was questioned on the validity of an Xray being taken.It went something like this.

She:"are you sure this X Ray was taken Madam"she asked.(Never mind that i had the bill for it.How something that didn't happen could be billed is beyond me)."

Me:"yes,is there a problem?

She:well there is no record of the same.

Me: perhaps it wasn't recorded,after all it was 4.30 am and at the emergency room

She:that's not possible,how sure are you that it was taken?

Me:(with all the patience i can muster and on the verge of a nervous collapse)Yes I am sure,I was with the patient in the X Ray room and again in the emergency room when the doc checked the X Ray...anymore details?

She:( shakes her head and says again like a stuck record)not possible madam

I was ready to throw a fit when one chap comes in and checks the computer....ah there it is...all taken and ready.

Me:(sigh of relief)

She:well i cant find it,please wait.

After much searching and numerous phone calls and endless discussions,they locate it and hand it over.Half an hour later I leave with a halo around my head...all patience and virtue,but am ready to kill the first person who come my way...

The XRay then travels all the way to its destination by courier.I have been promised a date an a time taking into account all the holidays in question.As on the date promised it hasn't reached and this is a destination I could have driven to in three hours.So what do I do,but wait patiently and hope to god that it reaches the doctor safe and sound.

In the meanwhile I answer questions and dole out good advice to a mother for who the pain is driving her mad.But its my job to hold everything together and still maintain my sanity.So I wait again patiently till I get some answers and honestly all this patience business is pure humbug,what really works is some good old kick ass aggression if you ask me