Only time will tell

Growing up,we had parents who were as different as chalk and cheese in their attitude to life. My mother was conservative,docile (on the outside) and very hands on as far as parenting goes. Her life revolved around the comfort of her children . No demand was too much for her,baring not studying. She wanted us to make something of our lives so we were well fed,she being a brilliant cook and she spent hours teaching us,looking after us and generally doing everything and some to make our lives as comfortable as possible . She and my dad didn't agree on most things,their outlook to life being so different . My mother would worry about finances,about our health and so on. My father was a man given to loving the good things of life. Much as my mother would do without some luxuries,my father made sure he could enjoy life. He loved his food and drink,was reckless in many ways was more of an absent father not because he was working himself to the bone but rather that he was enjoying the company of his friends in the evenings. He lived his life on his terms and if we didn't understand those terms very many times it was too bad. He really couldn't care less. But having said that he did make sure we got the best education he could provide,he always told us economic independence was important for a woman and he didn't believe our role was that of housewife and mother (though he did think that was my mothers role).

Thus three children grew up in this environment and as adults all three of us in many ways are like chalk and cheese. I grew up with a fierce sense of independence,a determination to earn my living and to be economically independent. I live life on my terms but it came with a huge burden of responsibility. I believe it was my role to give back for all that I got,and for me that meant looking after my parents in old age,providing every comfort that I could afford. I married late (by Indian standards) as I was pretty sure that marriage should be a meeting of minds to be successful . My eldest sister was married very young and had two children in quick succession and for many years we didn't know too much of how she lived her life. While we didn't know too much,she in many ways also lived life on her terms,doing all the things that she enjoyed and a bit like my father she was and absent daughter,no phone calls no letters and few visits....things changed once she got older and now we see more of her. Both of us like our father like the good things in life,we will go after it,hunt out our food and drink to the extent that it is one of our prime passions. We have varied interests and seem to have a lot of fun....we have picked up a lot of traits of our mother but to a large extent a lot of our father can be seen in us.

My. Idle sister like most middle children remains a mystery. She like my mother is conservative to the point of being hilarious. She lives by rules,demands that rules are followed,even when they defy logic. She is a bit of a loner and is almost as negative as my mother but like my mother her heart is in the right place. She can be dependable but can also be overbearing . She like my mother has made sulking a fine art and will always have her way. She is as anxious as my mother and has very little of my father except for his domineering ways.

Today as we enter the twilight years of our lives I look back and wonder how three people who grew up in the same environment can be so different to each other. Does genetics or environment change our lives. What really makes us who we are.? I think the jury is still out on that one but I wait to see how the three of us will shape up in our seventies and eighties. Will we end up being crotchety old maids or will we be the merry wives of Windsor . Only time will tell

The many shades of new year

((This morning I got up and decided to look through the bulk of newspapers that had been delivers on this last day of the year and I must confess that it has left me very confused. Besides the main paper there were a number of supplements that advertised all manner of things to do today. Let me start with the list.

Most of them told us to eat excessively ,to drink even more (get drunk and bring in the year seems to be the mantra) though why one should be so drunk I wonder. Do the organisers have some inclination of how terrible a year this is going to be so are numbing us into oblivion?. There are many shows all involving dancing (most by foreign woman with very little clothes or local movie starts in equally less clothing). Why this grand obsession with white sking shows is beyond me,or for that matte why we we being subjected to the same old movie starts we saw all year around,doing the same things and why do people actually pay through their noses to see such shows. Obviously I am not the target audience.

While the hotels and resorts are busy telling us to eat and drink beyond reason,the local police force is coming down hard on drunken driving which I think is a very good thing but do you see the contradiction in these activities,we'll if you haven't take a look at the next lot of articles. The newspapers are full of advice on how to stay healthy,how to loose weight how to look good on the new year and which  health club and gym offer the best deals. We are told to eat more fruit and vegetables (nothing new there ) run,walk and swim and stay away from ancho and too much oil and rich foods but of course they still expect you to do all that to bring in the new year.....contradictions galore if you ask me. Everyone on some binge and then everyone one some other binge to stay healthy and if like me you are and old cynic then do what I do.....go over to the neighbours for an early meal,have a glass of wine,toast each other's health and head home to a good book and go to sleep and get up as refreshed as you can on the new year.....killjoy you may call me but I am happy and that's how it's going to stay.....happy new year world

The year gone by

It's just another day like all other days but for some reason it's different,just because it's the end if one year and the start of another. How can twenty four hours change anything?,but in our minds it does.

For instance why do I feel this sense of unease,why do I pray that the year should be as good as the one I am about to leave,why does it make such a difference. Honestly I don't know.

But before I get to all that's new,I must admit that two thousand and thirteen was one of the best years of my life,not too many close friends of family died ,not too many people I know fell ill,a lot got married,some went on to greener pastures and I did some travelling. I am superstitious about some things so I believe that what I do on the first of jean kind of determine what I do for the rest of the year,so this year I looked forward to travelling and did so on January second and because I started with a holiday. I felt I would do more holidays and I did. A lovely trip to Europe was the highlight,short trips to close by places,visiting friends having family over,all I'm all very many things to be happy about. Having my mother with us another year where her health stay ed stable was another added happiness.

Now as I look to the new year I haven't got too much planned so it makes me anxious. Having nothing to look forward to makes me nervous. I need projects....it's silly but true. I have a vague sense of disquiet but this too shall pass and I list the things to look forward to. I don't as a rule wish people on new year,yet another one of my silly habits,it makes me aware that a new year is around the corner,a year when I will grow older,my mother will too,more worries of old age etc but think of the bright side ...I tell myself,maybe our friends will meet more often,maybe just maybe I will loose weight (now that cheers me up and makes me laugh as it never happens). Overall I am thinking god for all the blessings of this year and hope to see a peaceful one next year and on that note I shall stop