There was a time very long ago when a lady walked up to me and told me that my face was so peaceful that she was fascinated.She went on to tell me that faces reflect all the things that happen to us in life and she thought that the troubles and trials of this world had not got to me as yet.Looking back I remember that was the age of innocence for me.I took everything at face value,I didn't worry about a lot of things and I had my friends who also just went along with the flow.It was my first job after college and I was paid peanuts by the standards of that time and this but it didn't bother me for money wasn't such a big deal.I had learned to live on very little so didn't have too many needs.
Today many years later I look back on my life and wonder when it all changed.Did age and responsibility catch up?.Did my face change with the years.I have that constant worried look about me,I am surprised when someone from my past tells me that I was the most stress free person alive,I listen in amazement when people tell me I used to laugh a lot.Where did that me go I wonder.
First there was the job,the parents were still young,the father was still working so I had a good time,then he retired,slowly I watched the parent grow old,their anxieties became mine,the roles reversed.Suddenly I had the responsibility of looking after them alone.No support systems,no one to talk to about the problems.Then the years passed and things don't get better,they just get worse.In between I got married,fifteen years later I think that perhaps that's what kept me going.A happy relationship is a huge plus point.Suddenly I had someone to share my problems with,someone who understood.But happiness is something we need to find everyday,life is not easy its gets to you,and strength comes from dealing with it,looking at the positives and learning to take what comes,letting go.I pray hard,which is very silly,what does praying hard mean?.You need to pray and leave it to god,trust that the god who looks after you knows how much you can take and let go.Easier said than done....so I pray and I worry and i think god must despair about me.Why cant she let go he may wonder but i wonder the same.Today I am also growing old,suddenly there are aches and pains,the people I know are becoming grandparents .I know far too many people on the wrong side of 80 and most of them need care.Its not nice to know what old age can bring.Its a constant reminder of the troubles that the old face and yet in this country we have no infrastructure for the old.Doctors no longer make house calls so the infirm will have to languish in their misery.Not the most positive environment to grow old in.Today I sleep well a few days in a week and even that is a bonus and this for a person who could sleep for ever.Don't get me wrong I am not the only one with problems.almost all my friends have their own issues so where did those carefree days go?....i cant recall but i must make an effort.I must keep the dream alive,the dream of beautiful places,beautiful things and a life well lived...this is my prayer today to see things not as they are but what i can take away from every lesson life throws at me...will i get there?That's any body's guess
Today many years later I look back on my life and wonder when it all changed.Did age and responsibility catch up?.Did my face change with the years.I have that constant worried look about me,I am surprised when someone from my past tells me that I was the most stress free person alive,I listen in amazement when people tell me I used to laugh a lot.Where did that me go I wonder.
First there was the job,the parents were still young,the father was still working so I had a good time,then he retired,slowly I watched the parent grow old,their anxieties became mine,the roles reversed.Suddenly I had the responsibility of looking after them alone.No support systems,no one to talk to about the problems.Then the years passed and things don't get better,they just get worse.In between I got married,fifteen years later I think that perhaps that's what kept me going.A happy relationship is a huge plus point.Suddenly I had someone to share my problems with,someone who understood.But happiness is something we need to find everyday,life is not easy its gets to you,and strength comes from dealing with it,looking at the positives and learning to take what comes,letting go.I pray hard,which is very silly,what does praying hard mean?.You need to pray and leave it to god,trust that the god who looks after you knows how much you can take and let go.Easier said than done....so I pray and I worry and i think god must despair about me.Why cant she let go he may wonder but i wonder the same.Today I am also growing old,suddenly there are aches and pains,the people I know are becoming grandparents .I know far too many people on the wrong side of 80 and most of them need care.Its not nice to know what old age can bring.Its a constant reminder of the troubles that the old face and yet in this country we have no infrastructure for the old.Doctors no longer make house calls so the infirm will have to languish in their misery.Not the most positive environment to grow old in.Today I sleep well a few days in a week and even that is a bonus and this for a person who could sleep for ever.Don't get me wrong I am not the only one with problems.almost all my friends have their own issues so where did those carefree days go?....i cant recall but i must make an effort.I must keep the dream alive,the dream of beautiful places,beautiful things and a life well lived...this is my prayer today to see things not as they are but what i can take away from every lesson life throws at me...will i get there?That's any body's guess
