Rat attack

In the many years that I was in the corporate sector,I have met a number of rats in the eternal rat race that work life is in the big bad world of business.Some have outsmarted me and others have been killed in the bargain,so its natural that I had it all figured out.I knew every trick in the book to deal with rats of all kinds.Except that in the rodent world of survival,the odd are against the rat and therefore the innovation and expertise they bring into their range of survival skills is not something that can be taught in any business school.

For the last few months we have been plagued by a family of rats who believe it is their right to invade out kitchen.Much like the toys in children's books who come alive after midnight,the rats in our area come into the kitchen the moment we switch off the lights and go to bed.Now we take pains to hide all foodstuffs,clean the kitchen remove all dirty dishes etc etc but the rat comes in,knocks a few things down,scampers over all the kitchen exploring things and when it gets tired,it climbs up the chimney to the loft and goes to sleep.Our first course of action was to trap them but having failed to gather courage to deal with their killing we had to rat proof the kitchen.It started with closing the windows of the kitchen,then they came in through the dining room so now we spend half an hour ever evening closing all the windows (and in the process dying of heat and humidity in the house).We invested in good wire mesh and sealed all possible entry points to and from the kitchen.We now find that the rat has decide that the balcony is his new home so the next step is to close those windows too.Funny how our conversations are all rat centered,we have become obsessed with the rat population in this area.Our lives revolve around the rat.The husband and I no longer fight about anything but the rat and how foolproof the husbands efforts have been in restricting entry into the house.My friends with similar problems discuss new ways of outsmarting the rat.It is an insult to our intelligence that this creature who is well below us in the evolution chain,can cause such fear,heartache and disgust in out lives.Strange.....I am beginning to think those corporate rats were a harmless lot after all

Traffic Sense

Some twenty years ago I bought myself a bike not knowing how to ride a bicycle this was quiet an achievement.I learnt to ride it though after many a fall and bruise till I was pretty sure of myself on the road.It was a bit battle scared by the time I was ready to trade it in for a car.I have been driving the car now for over 10 years and haven't had too many mishaps except during the int ital years.But over the years I have learnt a few home truths especially if you live in my part of the woods.Its came home to me this morning when I had to pick a scrap with a young chap who simply refused to move out of my way despite being parked in the wrong place.So for the uninitiated here are a few ground rules to negotiate traffic in this country.

1.Before you leave home and get into the car make sure that common sense,courtesy and good manners are locked in the cupboard.Replace this with loads of aggression,stupidity and a total disregard for fellow citizens on the road.

2.At all times make sure to park in front of someones gate.(parking spaces are few and far between so grab the place and never mind if the people who live there have an emergency or simply need to go out and take their car with them,remember you have left common sense at home)

3.If someone has parallel parked in a designated parking space,make sure to park just behind them,switch off your engine,take the key and disappear for hours on end (chances are that the nice person who parked the right way is left stranded not being able to take his car out thanks to you,but remember he ought to have left good sense at home)

4.If anyone flashed his lights at you on the road,don't give way,drive on like you haven't seen a thing after all you need to get to your destination and to hell with what the other guy wants.

5.Make sure you always overtake from the left (in this country we drive on the left) and never mind that the person you are trying to overtake doesn't see you.

6.Make sure that if you want to turn to the right you don't have to be in the right lane.Do all of the above and cut across from the far left of the road at breakneck speed and leave the poor drivers on the right side either too shocked to react or dead in the bargain.

7.Indicators must have been the fancy of some automobile designer but they don't really serve any purpose so don't bother using them after all you will still be overtaken if you did.

8.Put your headlights on full beam as soon as the sun sets,this will make the driver on the opposite side blind but do you care?

9.The red light at the traffic signal ....well if you must you could stop but if your in a hurry just hurtle across the light and be gone

10.Make sure you honk all the time and as loud as you can,remember most people wont hear you or couldn't care less.

And if after all this you want to park your car,remember designated parking is for the foolish.This is Madras,this is India,learn to live by the rules you set.

Am I being funny and irresponsible?Well after having been subjected to all of the above on the roads of this city I am not sure who issues driving licenses nor am I sure where people learn to drive.Honestly some of the biggest offenders are the so called well off educated types with fancy expensive cars so am I surprised that the rest are not far behind?

My Changing World

Its been ages since I have bothered to write anything at all so much so that the new windows version on my new laptop looks like Greek and Latin to me.Now the reasons are many fold.As usual nothing in the past months have inspired me enough to write about.There are many new malls and more and more people flocking to them and if you like me decide to go alone then it can be an unsettling and strange experience.The last week or so has been an eyeopener of sorts.We have been shaken out of our shells and forced to face a few new realities of the today's world.Heated discussion around our dining table has made us realise that the world has changed,parent child relationships are not what it used to be,education is no longer as sacred as we were brought up to believe and money actually grows on trees.

After months of deliberating of the merits of paying through my nose for a decent haircut (and in the process looking like something the cat brought in,with long straggly grey hair which adds ten years to my already ageing face) I decide to take the plunge.Now I do have expensive tastes but by certain acts of will power I have managed to stay clear of the debt trap and learnt to live within my means and indulge in the occasional splurge.Tony and Guy decided to open a shop in one of the fancy malls and as usual I decide to be guinea pig to this store.Before I can change my mind I have arrived at the shop and am made to wait for a few minutes.As I wait I realise that I am the few persons who actually thinks so much before spending money.The pretty young things as young as eighteen and under are flashing their parents add on cards with not a care in the world and getting haircuts and fancy treatments all set for Saturday night.I get my haircut done,chat up the hairdresser and when he is done with me I cant recognise myself.He has taken off years from my face at the same time making me look like I could walk bravely down a red carpet,except that he is at pains to tell me that he is a professional and I must not attempt to do this at home as I will end up deeply disappointed.I thank him and decided that I shall come back six months hence when the urge to look good gets to me.There is a party to attend so I am all set to look stunning.Ofcourse what I have forgotten is that the heat of my city can put a dampener to the smartest of hairstyles.By the time I have located my car at the end of a maze like parking bay,I am drenched in sweat and the hair is in danger of hanging limp.By the time I reach half way home,despite the air conditioning,I am beginning to look like a wet crow and by the time I reach home its time to wash away my indulgence under a shower.Hmm there I am back to normal except that the hair cut has begun to look like how it will when an armature like me had had a go at hairdressing (though its a lot better than what I looked like before).The party begins and our friend get a call from his eighteen year old asking for help getting into a pub which is acting difficult.I marvel at the pains the father takes to ensure that she gets in and gets her Saturday night fix of friends drink and general fun and games and I remember that even today I pretend to be drinking water (when in reality its vodka) when the mother is around and I cannot imagine admitting to my dad that I am out drinking.This is the changed relationship that exist between parents and children today.We came from formal relationships and by no stretch of imagination were my parents my friends,they were and still are parents.I realise that the world I know has long past and I try and understand what it means for my mother to be 80 and feel that the whole world has changed.Its strange this whole process of growing old by honestly I am thanking my stars that I has the best of a traditional upbringing along with the freedom to be my own person,enjoy life at a pace that put no pressure on me and today I can look at the current generation and feel no sense of regret.