Life

It was the 60s probably the time between innocence and total madness. School education was semi British and the value systems were all Christian. One lesson however that struck me most was the one on balanced diets. Not sure if it was part of a biology class but I still remember the lovely pictures of  meats, fruit and veg. We learnt about the body needing fats, sugar, minerals, carbohydrates and protein. Not for us the vegetarian or vegan option. Not for us the low fat, low carb diets. No diets at all . It was all about what your body needs, it was about building strong bodies and strong minds. No food was bad it was all about moderation. We played for hours in blazing summer heat burnt to berries by the end of the day. Our parents never worried about sun strokes, or of us being burnt by the sun. Nobody bothered too much it was more about getting the right amount of exercise without the pressure of having to get it. We had fun and that was it. Some of us were fat, some seriously skinny. We hadn't heard of obesity or anorexia. We were just the way we were. Some forty years later everything changed. Suddenly we had body types, we heard that one had to be slim, we heard about having straight hair, about the all important gym membership. We needed weight training to strengthen our bodies. We stoped writing letters, we had email. Suddenly all our conversations were about the weight we've gained, how hard it was to get rid of it. How exercise is such a chore but had to be done. The pressure was building. All of a sudden my coconut oil was bad for me, red ,eat was bad for me, vegetarian was the way to go, the it became vegan. People look aghast when I tucked into my meat with relish. They were shocked when I said I hated vegetables and refused to become a rabbit. The pitying looks increased as I got rounder. No gym membership but I did redeem myself with some yoga.  Why did everyone look surprised when I did all the housework myself, cooked food at home, didn't care much for eating out.  No one talked about my lack of aches and pains or about the fact that I didn't moan about feeling tired all the time. I guess no one understands that we were brought up to get on with life. Whining in our time was disgraceful behaviour. So the world has changed and I have too. I eat meat once or twice a week and eat fish instead. Most people believe I have made lifestyle changes and am following a diet. Not at all. The fact is that I prefer sea food to meat. The fact is my 85 year old mother is a brilliant cook and the home food is so good I don't feel the need to eat out. The world did change and so did people and I did too but I decided long ago that the best way to live was to live on my terms. The best I could do was to be myself and not aspire to be what the world wants me to be. I don't need to be wished for women's day because it makes no difference to my life. I respect myself and I don't need a day to define me. Yes I would have loved to skydive I may have wanted to skate or something so out of reach but we all have our wish lists don't we.but for now happiness is a bowl of good food.

December

The vey last month of the year and this city gets nervous. A lot of people believe that madras is doomed in December thanks to various natural calamities that have visited this city in December. Many years ago a tsunami swept this city away with devastating results. None of us had seen anything of the kind before but life settled back for those of us not affected and we forgot all about it. Then last year a flood hit us. Yes it rained but not the kind of rain that we expected. The city drowned slowly and infrastructure collapsed.  People helped each other and somehow we got through the worst. This year we braced ourselves for another flood but the rains never came. Instead a leading politician died and as we waited for the violence and damage to start, it all got eerily quiet. No disturbance of any kind was reported and to the surprise of everyone, the city conducted a funeral with clock work precision. Considering how popular she was it was a huge relief and a testament to the fact that the people of this state can show the rest of India a few lessons in dignity and restraint . We moved on and waited . A few days later a cyclone was announced. Now we were prepared for floods and cyclones have a way of bypassing our city for other shores so we didn't take it too seriously . As it started raining we were still bracing for floods, but the cyclone had other ideas. In what was yet another first after many years, the city was torn apart for a day of ferocious winds which left trees dancing and bending till they broke into many pieces. Large trees that have been part of our growing years were all felled with the fury of nature. At the end of it all the city resembled a forest. Not a single street was spared. Roads were blocked with fallen trees and it is still being cleared. The city was stripped of its famous green cover and no one had seen it coming.

Personally it was also a month of great sadness with the death of a well loved uncle who took the trouble to visit us a month ago and then dropped dead which no one had expected him to do. It was also a time when old people in the family suffered strokes and suffered silently. When friends lost parents to old age. When pop icons of our youth passed a way and we suddenly felt our age and had to face the eroding of our youth and our music. And like the sadness of another year  gone by a little bit of our lives as we know it is lost. We have our memories and we need to live with those as the year slowly winds down to a close.

Christmas as always is a good time, a time to meet old friends, and to have our regular Christmas dinner. Exhausted by the string of visitors I decided to out source cooking to the mother and sister and did all the baking instead . Midnight service as usual was a grand one with a lovely message though the night turned warm.

And as the sun set on yet another year I look back with mixed feelings. It was the year my mother turned 85, it was also the year when we thought we had lost her. It was a year when she probably realised that so many people loved her enough to make time to be with her. It was also a year when cousins and uncles were lost forever despite being too young to die. But as the year ends I count the many blessings we've had and look forward to new ones in the new year.