I dream a dream

Its blazing hot outside and this is the worst time to be in this city.Its hot and tempers are frayed,people are tired and there is no end in sight.Till around September we will complain and cry over our fate but we do this every year and the sun doesn't listen.
I dream a dream every summer .While i lie on the floor (cant use a bed or mattress as it will leave one in a pool of sweat) trying to beat the heat,I dream of a little cottage in the hills.It will have a large expansive kitchen with an array of pots and pans.It will constantly smell of sweet herbs,hot soups and the rich smell of baking.The garden will have the finest of vegetables all organic all grown by me according to the seasons.I can see myself with a big hat on my head,tilling the soil,planting seeds,weeding and then gathering them all into the kitchen to make meals that will have friends and family asking for more.The cottage will have a large terrace deck surrounded on all sides by flowers of all colours.It will be my evening retreat from where i will watch the sun go down on the valley.There will be strong cups of tea and cake to see me through sunset.
Evening will be spent in front of a roaring fire in a comfortable chair with a great book in hand.At my feet a dog or two.The husband is very much part of the picture and he is the one to whom i will turn for a nice long chin wag at the end of the day.The fire will be fed with twigs and leaves which the husband and i will gather as we take a stroll in the crisp morning air,listening to birds singing in the bushes.The village will provide the milk and chickens and the trip to the market should be the highlight of the week.
And as I dream this dream the sun goes down on another hot day and its time to wake up and make the best of the evening and then  to sleep in an air conditioned room for what we city people hope is an uninterrupted rest.

Reality

Reality,what does it mean?.For me its the everyday living which involves so much of myself and other people.Its shared joys,sorrow,pain,conversations and all of life as its thrown at me everyday.Some days are dull with nothing much happening and others leave me so tired that I cant think.Some are just so much fun that one knows its not an everyday event.Some are just so unpredictable that I am left wondering what happened.But the long and short of it is that its many emotions and many facets.
Someone I know sends me regular updates on all that she does and to me it seems like one long party.This person is never called upon to do anything that is in anyway emotionally taxing or unpleasant.All that is required is to be there and enjoy the things that are thrown at her.From the outside it looks like there are no responsibilities or demands.Perhaps that's the image she projects and the reality is very different.I find it strange that one can go through life without taking responsibility.Then again what is responsibility.Does doing only what one wants to do and not any more make one responsible?.I asked many people this question and found many interesting outcomes and reactions.Some one told me that some of them keep such a tight hold on emotions that it is no longer a feeling.It means that one becomes detached and unemotional.While some people are proud of this I believe it leads to emotional poverty.Can we subdue out emotions so much that we become machines?.
Today I heard of a person dying,alone and unconscious and in the final stages.A life well led in that the person took responsibility for her life,didn't impose on anyone emotionally or financially and while I admire the person I wonder when I look at some others who acts helpless and unsure....and get all the attention and love and comforts....is it all worth it.Does anyone appreciate you for being independent or is one leaving oneself open to being ignored and uncared for?
I have the time to mull over thing,to look at peoples lives to understand what it take and the conflicting images are all confusing.Some people lead lives living their own reality and in the process hurt others and don't care,others live in a reality that involves so much of themselves and it leaves them drained and tired.I am still finding my own reality but for now I am happy to laugh ,cry and rant and rave.To me being emotionally aware is as important as being intellectually aware.It completes life.Its holistic and that for now is real.