Dull July

When July came along i was quietly thankful for the blessings of six months. Months that went by without much drama. When one lives with an old parent then every day is a miracle. Every day we live to tell another tail so no drama on the health from is good. Unfortunately when one has old parents,chances are that most of ones friends are in the same boat. Most of the old people are the ones we have known since young adulthood so any tragedies that strike our friends parents ,strike us too ...in many ways it's a shared pain. So when at the turn of the month my friends mother was diagnosed with cancer at the ripe old age of 88,it was a shared pain. How does one comfort when one is too involved. Messages and emails don't convey the empathy one feels at such times. But we muddle along offering small comforts. Sometimes it's just knowing that ones friends are around for moral support and that's the best we can do. This news was followed closely by a sister having all kinds of problems with her health which ended up in her needing surgery. The sister in question is a bit of a drama queen and while she is low on facts (simply because she probably thinks it's too boring to share) she is full on stories. Unfortunately as I relay her stories to my mother (always censored for her ears) the mother goes into a tizzy. Not being a mother I can't relate a hundred percent to her feeling of anxiety but I have to deal with that. The second sister in question only adds to my stress levels as she imagines the worst possible outcomes but these fears are not relayed to the mother but between the two of them and their stress,my stress levels go up. The moth in the meanwhile went through a painful process of what we call old age aches and pains,which gets me all nervous in the light of all the ill health that was happening around me. I did wait for the month to get over as soon as possible.

While it wasn't a bad month,suffice to say it wasn't a happy one either but in the end it was over and am I glad of that.

The best of friends

We met some thirty odd years ago and the only thing we had in common was to use the same bus stop or to make a dash for the loo which was two buildings away and still manage to get back to class on time. Over three years or so a bond formed and though we were like chalk and cheese there was something in the relationship which kept it going. We continued to visit each other in different cities and while her friends were the pot smoking,rock music types who talked philosophy over drinks,I a managed to blend in a bit. Was it just curiosity on my part or just the need to meet people outside of my comfort zone. I was the conservative type and wanted to finish college,get a job earn some money and get on with it. She wanted to do research ,practise psychology,become a therapist,travel the world and do fun stuff. I also wanted to travel and do fun stuff but economic security took precedence over all else. I saved,she spent. I jumped relationships got my heart broken,picked myself up and finally met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She had plenty of friends the world over,never had a serious relationship,lived hand to ,mouth and was happy. In fact we were  both happy in very different ways. Somewhere over the years our bonds grew stronger. She moved countries but we stayed in touch,technology came to our rescue and we kept in touch more often. We even managed to meet in different countries and despite being so different we could come up with identical lists of things to do. I worry about her,that's my job. She will talk me out of it. Long after other relationships have fallen by the wayside we continue to be friends,the telepathy continues as it does in relationships that have survived over the years. Would marriage and a husband play havoc with our friendship would my priorities change?. I did wonder but it seems the husband and she get along like house on fire. They can discuss me like I don't exist and I am greatly amused. They talk cricket,I can't stand the game,they discuss my total lack of discipline which gets their collective goats but I couldn't care less.They have tried knocking sense into my fairy brain but I continue to dream and all the while the twosome friendship has now become a friendship triangle. It's wonderful when one can marry ones best friend and keep the other best friend at ones side. As we grow older we thank technology which allows us to text when our hearing slows down,we can FaceTime and see each other and despite and ocean and a continent separating us,we stay firm friends. I am still wondering how we can be so different and still have so much common ground but such is human behaviour and I for one am happy