Children and pressure

Everyday the new papers report at least one suicide by children too young (in my opinion) to know the meaning of stress.My friend a child psychologist tells me her patients are as young as six and I wonder what the world is coming to when childhood which to me was a time of no responsibility and carefree fun,now turns out to be pressure filled and stressful.I suspect that the problem must be parents but not being a parent myself,its politically incorrect to have a discussion on the subject (parents are very touchy about their kids and can get pretty nasty if one makes a comment on their brats).I dont bother about it untill today when I saw pressure in action.A swimming class is in progress for children in the age group of six to ten and I find that the area surrounding the pool is filled with young proud parents who have come to see their children learn to swim (one of the many things today children have to learn in addition to school work).All the parents have their camera phones on the ready to catch the moment when the kids make their first dive,they compare notes and exchange anxious looks if their kids are not as good as someone else.The children without exception are terrified and are crying in fear but the parents will not let off on the pressure.For one hour the kids will have to do what they have to do weather they like it or not.Now I have nothing against children learning new skills but shouldn't it be because they want to or because they have agreed to do so.Do they have to be under so much pressure because the parents have to keep up with their peers when comparing parenting notes.I look at the children in the changing room.Not a single parent is there to comfort or reassure,not one parent tells them that its fine to take ones time,there is no deadline to meet etc....nothing.Just more pressure to be back to the next class,more pressure to join the next activity after this.Now I am no longer surprised when I hear of children under pressure but I know that the problem is not that of the kids themselves but rather that of parents who are trying to live their lives through their children.Small wonder then that the rat race begins so early in life.....I have seen kids enjoy activities because their parents have introduced them to variety and put them into activities for which they have the aptitude or the inclination but this mad dash to keep up with the neighbours is doing nothing for the psychology of the children in our cities and towns and I shudder to think of how these children will turn out.Isn't life all about learning to take failure and success with the same level of sense and understand ? but who will teach them that.....

Swimming Chronicals 4

I am restless and the kind who can leave well alone so after the morning session of the swimming pool I am determined to do a bit of extra study (in this case practise).I join a friend who is a decent swimmer and off we go.The pool is full of young men in their twenties,middle aged men and a few old men along with a smattering of women (all of whom know how to swim).Now at the best of times,no one will attempt to talk to me(I am one of those grim faced woman who come across as unapproachable) but on the rare occasions that I choose to smile,its triggers all kinds of things.For them I attract unsolicited attention,conversations with strange men and advice of all kinds from people who would normally keep their opinions to themselves.Unfortunately I am at my vulnerable best in the pool so a smile crosses my face and from then on its downhill all the way.I went to the pool to practise my strokes and some breathing (my attempts at being a goldfish are not very rewarding).Now I have a man who has taken it upon himself to give me a lesson on physics.He tells me what happens when my head goes under water,he then goes on to tell me that my breathing sucks and that I have a long way to go and if I was thinking of being a swimmer well that was not going to happen (I didn't ask for his opinion but am too polite to say so).He goes off to the other end and I swim (or rather attempt) the small lap and try breathing.By then a 75 year old gent is at my side wanting to know how old I am.When the answer doesn't sound too attractive he tells me that I have a long way to go in the breathing department (like I don't know).My friend thankfully rescues me from both men and stands guard as i make feeble attempts to co ordinate arms,legs ,lungs and brain.Its all too much this orchestra especially for someone like me who is tone deaf,has no understanding of physics and am in no mood to listen to some men in the swimming pool.I put my grim face back,no smiles now just breath.My friend then teaches me how to float on my back (friends are friends because the know what will make you happy) and suddenly the world looks like a much better place.The clouds are beautiful,my body relaxes and I can enjoy the water.I could fall asleep like this except that I have a nasty feeling my brain may shut down and the body make get ideas of its own (I am no longer master of my body and soul).So I wait till my chief adviser goes back to the other end do a few more laps,get more water into my lungs than air and then decide to call it a day.My friend told me that I seem to puff out my cheeks when going into swim and somewhere my brain takes in this information and thinks that there is something there.I come home and practise my breathing again.Now after many attempts there is that eureka moment......finally I have discovered why I take in water and not air.I haven't even been breathing in the first place,just holding my breath and pretending.I think I may have found the solution to my problems but to check it out i have to wait another night.

Swimming Chronicals 3

Its day nine of the swimming classes and I have finally understood the true meaning of going off the deep end and the meaning of sink or swim.For years I have used these phrases in conversation thinking I knew what it was all about but there is nothing like a swimming class to bring home its true meaning.We have now been initiated into the deep end.This is around 9 feet in depth though the trainer refused to look me in the eye and confirm this.He insists that I jump and swim to the other end.In a brave attempt to be one with the class,I say a prayer asking God to forgive me my sins and jump into the water.Suddenly my arms and legs seem to be talking to each other (there were at cross purposed all this while) and my lungs hold up.I find myself on the other side having no idea how I got there,so there was I literally falling off the deep end and not sinking but swimming instead.Its a scary thought to not know that there is a ground beneath and only the presence of the trainer who insists on making us do "harm action" propels me on.It tool me awhile to understand why he wanted me to harm anyone until I realised that he meant arm action.In the water vulnerable as I am,its no time to worry about correct English pronunciation.He then told us to jump off the diving board.For the first time in my life I thanked God for not being young.It has its advantages,especially when I tell him with a sad face that at my age it may be a bit risky to do such jumps.(after all I am well past qualifying for the Olympics,let alone the local swimming championships).He nods and tells me I can skip it so off I go to do my goldfish act (except that I am an insult to the goldfish).I am glad when the clock strikes and I can mark yet another day in my calender.Three more days to go.