We are worth it

The rape in Bombay of a girl has made me wonder yet again on the brutality of men in this country.This is not about sex at all,this is just a power struggle of men with small minds and cowards who cant make anything of themselves in the real world and think that this is their way of showing power.How pathetic that even in rape then need company.It shows the depravity of their minds.I have young nieces and nephews in college and school in the big cities and I wonder how they manage in this day and age.
Then I listen to television debates on what people think about it all.Yesterday there were woman who claimed that it is the business of the state to protect its woman .I agree that this is the job of the law enforcement agencies but lets face it they do nothing at all.When the state fails in its duty do we lament or decide to empower our woman.
The police force tell us every time a woman in murdered in her home that we woman shouldn't allow anyone into the house when we are alone.Haven't these people heard of single woman.Tell me if I live alone do I have to not open doors to the electrician,the plumber and all manner of other suppliers?.The stupidity of these diktats is what gets me.Get real there are few solutions to this increase in rape.But there are solutions if the government will only enforce it.
What prevent the government in punishing a rapist as fast as possible? Why is a woman's claim alone not good enough.I understand that this can lead to many misinterpretations,it can mean innocent men will go behind bars.Yes that's true but while we worry about the misuse of the law,innocent woman are being raped and should we in the interest of few good men,delay justice? The answer if obviously a big no.Quick punishment is the best deterrent for crime.Remember the rapist is a man of low self esteem,and a complex (otherwise he would be having normal sex) and fear is the only way to stop them.This is the responsibility of the government and the police
But what about the woman themselves.Once again there are solutions.When I see parents spend hours sending their girls for dance class,grooming class and when they talk fashion,marriage and beauty contests to young girls,i wonder why we stick to stereotypes.When are we going to teach our girls martial arts,self defence,high self esteem (not the kind that comes from the catwalk).When will we teach our girls that they are equal or better than the men,that they can hold their own in any field and that only they can protect themselves.When will we teach our boys that woman are equal citizens,that they have brains,opinions,and intellect and that no man has a right to a woman's body without her consent.Its about time the men in this country realised that woman are not playthings (go to the toy shop for heavens sake if you are so inclined) and are capable individuals.Unfortunately in a panel discussion on tv where the large majority were woman ,only one woman believed that her destiny was in her hands.
Ambition and career are all very well unfortunately in our country we haven't evolved to a time when a sexual abuse complaint against a boss will get the justice it requires,unfortunately the law will not protect us and the tv discussions and the media circus will not protect us.We need to protect ourselves.We are worth it.

A strange encounter

The India I know has changed so much in the last few decades and unfortunately not always for the better.My friends and I grew up in innocent times,most of our worries were about being caught by parents talking to boys from our school or neighbourhood,we worried that parents would find out that we had run off to see a movie when we had promised to be visiting friends.Those were the days when we didn't have a lan line phone let alone a mobile so there was no way we could be traced.We wandered the streets without a fear in the world.A lot of us hadn't heard of rape (except for rapeseed oil) and our newspapers didn't have rape and murder and sexual abuse as main stories.Our parents were parents not friends,they didn't dress like us and there was no question of being friends on facebook.We lost touch with our friends after college and when we did reconnect after years of being out of touch,our friendships simply started from where we had left.Not being in touch every minute of everyday did not damage our relationships,we had built rock solid ones so no worries.
Today when I read of all the rape that seems to happen and the reaction of people and the acceptance that this is how we live,I am pretty shocked.The number of times I have been in danger (as in this day and age) in my twenties would have a modern day parent worried.
I remember one such incident.My dad worked for the railways so I always travelled first class on the Indian railways.This was long before the days of air conditioned second and third class travel The first class compartment had four occupants and because my name is so unindian  (the railways never did know my sex by my name) most of the time i ended up in a compartment with all men.On the Tamil nadu express bound for Delhi I was in this situation and thought nothing of it as I had never travelled to the north and had no clue that woman in the north were in far more danger than us fortunate one in Tamil nadu (where its relatively safe).There was a man also bound for Delhi when we started the journey and another couple.Somewhere in the north the couple left and were replaced by two huge men (most people in the north are taller than us south Indians) and their friends.They entered the compartment at ten at night and were pretty drunk.Then the left and continued to drink near the toilets.While they were out my travelling companion from the start,told me that he had informed the men that I was his sister.I was truly puzzled.My name I told him would be a give away along with the fact that I spoke no Hindi and couldn't understand a word.The man insisted and told me to stick to the story for my own safety.I didn't understand what the fuss was all about and as I was ready to ask the drunks to leave (youthful bravado was a sign of our times,not knowing that rape existed and how much in danger i was) I wasn't sure but since he seems so terrified for my life and safety I decided to go along with the story.The drunks came back and i went off to sleep (fitful) and the so called brother kept watch.We got to Delhi in good time and with no harm done.What I didn't realise at that time (thanks to not understanding the language) was that the men had made comments about intentions which had got my travel companion so terrified.I never gave the incident a thought  all these years but today when I read about woman in danger I wonder who that nice man was who insisted I was his sister.I don't know which state he was from,his English was pretty bad and he wasn't sophisticated either but his heart was in the right place and maybe the fact that he was so concerned (about an innocent south India girl clueless in Delhi)  makes me remember that for all the miserable men out there who prey on helpless people simply because they don't have the guts to take on someone their own size,there are the nice people who will stand up for others protect and look out for some stranger in danger.To that nice man I salute you and may your tribe increase.