tea gardens
Thursday, June 04, 2009
prep and planning
Planning has never been my forte but planning is so much a part of life that one does have to make an attempt.I have decided to take a break from house work and routine to take a drive down to a sea side place with a friend of mine.Unfortunately this means a lot of planning,first of all the food,no not for the trip but for the family left behind at home.Ever since the mothers fractured hand,i haven't been able to leave the cooking to her so there i was this morning all charged up to do some serious cooking and freezing and I discovered there were not enough vegetables.The planning went something like this,two days and four people at home so five meals with two vegetable dishes each and the maths got me,as did the empty fridge.So I made a sambar which looks in danger of finishing tomorrow,beans porial which i put in the freezer,some beef cutlets that have been frozen and then i gave up.So much for planning.Dinner is still looming large and no idea hit me as yet.For years i wanted to be a professional chef,because i love food and its preparation but with planning letting me down its seems a pipe dream at the best of times.The mother made all the right noises of helping out and probably will so I have decided not to fret and to take things one day at a time.The thought of getting away from all responsibilities if so inviting that I just hope the car holds up and we have a good time
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I have not yet cared closely for an older person, but have to commend you for taking ownership of what you think is important in life..that said tho, the key to managing any relationship is to let the other person have the psychological comfort that you care - after well-being is a state of mind. you can never be mentally unwell, and physically great! they go hand in hand. In my humble opinion, this is a usual trap and more so with indian families, ie to care for someone so closely and to then start trying to drill personality changes into them - I mean your mother has a whole lifetime before you were born, memories of her own childhood, adulthood to deal with - things that led her to marrying someone and giving birth to you! All she needs is companionship - and not reminding that she is physically frail and that unless she takes care of herself she will be critically ill! Next time, try spending a few hours, first get her permission over the phone and make a formal appointment - when you are over, ask her to make you a cup of tea, if not then you offer to make - and then for the main part, spend time reminding her what a great personality she has, how cool she is, and that for as long as you are alive, you - and only you will never forget who unique she is. au revoir!
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