tea gardens

tea gardens

Friday, July 26, 2013

Habits....die

Habits they say die hard,yet in my case habits are not even born to die naturally.I looked it up and found that if one did the same thing at the same time everyday it tends to become a habit,or just doing some routine things could become a habit.I was also told that if one exercised or did a new activity for 21 days at a stretch then it would become a habit.In the days when we poured over zodiac signs to find out what kind of persons we were or would become I was forever warned that drug abuse and alcoholism would be my downfall if I didn't watch out.I tried one but not the other but haven't become addicted to either.

In all the years that I have lived on this earth I am yet to form a habit,consoling myself of being unique or extraordinary or an exception to the rule is actually some rubbish rationalization,the face of the matter is that laziness is so strong in me that sticking to a routine is just too much.

let me tell you of my numerous attempts at forming habits.I told myself that when i finally hung up my boots and quit the rat race,then I would sack the maid ,do all the housework like my sisters in western countries,exercise everyday and generally loose weight and become some kind of super woman.Well not exactly super (that would have been too aspirational even for me)....well I did sack the maid,i do do all the work at home and i do exercise pretty often,but what drives me is not habit forming ,it a whole lot of guilt and dirt.I started off rather well.In my enthusiasm for new found goals,i swept and wiped the house and dusted and cleaned and cooked like there was no tomorrow.Then i discovered that i didn't have to slog so much so i cleaned once in two days,then it became one a week,then one thing or the other and it became cleaning day when the dirt got too much even for me....so much for habit forming ....Now i am back to twice a week but cant stick to my timetable of cleaning days.Why is it that on cleaning day mornings,I develop a cold (me who never gets a cold) or I end up feeling so tired that i cant lift the broom?( laziness rears its ugly head).The the exercise.....i have an exercise buddy (if it wasn't for her I would do nothing) .the thing about doing things with people is that one is forced not to let down the other side,there is a certain responsibility that comes into the picture so since it will be my turn to pick her up for yoga class,guilt will make sure that at the first ring of the alarm I am out and about.Now the funny part....for years now i have been waking up at 5am to go for a walk or a swim or for yoga.One would imagine that by now my mind and body were conditioned to be awake at that time.Ha so much for conditioning or learning theory.I am no Pavlov dog,my brains refused to be conditioned.Hence like this morning (forgot the fix an alarm) the phone was in one room and me in another hence no alarm bells went off.I was in deep slumber well after the appointed hour and even guilt took a back seat(the friend was left high and dry thanks to me sleeping the sleep of the dead).The husband who is a prime candidate for conditioning and who will get up at 5.15 sharp a full fifteen minutes before his alarm goes off (he has been doing so for just over a month as opposed to my years) work me up to ask why I was sleeping when the friend was waiting for me.Deep slumber is not a good place to have a conversation with me so in half sleep i dashed off a short message on the phone to said friend saying i couldn't make it.Without the aid of my glasses I wonder what the message was (some garbled rubbish no doubt) but said friend would have understood and there i was back to sleep only to wake up to find the husband gone and the clock showing a good 9am.Scrambling out of bed i dashed about watering my plants,making some tea deciding meals etc until the husband came back having has breakfast outside.
So much for habit forming....is that a good thing that my habits don't take birth,well looks like its fine considering i have lead a sober life despite the naysayers and looking at the bright side,how boring may i have been if everything ran according to plan?...for now i like to see myself as extraordinary and fun so habits well.....we keep at them even the good one in the hope that in some unpredictable future I will wake up at dawn without the aid of an alarm clock,exercise everyday and keep a neat house and end up being the super woman i have read so much about....until then its back to bed....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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