Only time will tell

Growing up,we had parents who were as different as chalk and cheese in their attitude to life. My mother was conservative,docile (on the outside) and very hands on as far as parenting goes. Her life revolved around the comfort of her children . No demand was too much for her,baring not studying. She wanted us to make something of our lives so we were well fed,she being a brilliant cook and she spent hours teaching us,looking after us and generally doing everything and some to make our lives as comfortable as possible . She and my dad didn't agree on most things,their outlook to life being so different . My mother would worry about finances,about our health and so on. My father was a man given to loving the good things of life. Much as my mother would do without some luxuries,my father made sure he could enjoy life. He loved his food and drink,was reckless in many ways was more of an absent father not because he was working himself to the bone but rather that he was enjoying the company of his friends in the evenings. He lived his life on his terms and if we didn't understand those terms very many times it was too bad. He really couldn't care less. But having said that he did make sure we got the best education he could provide,he always told us economic independence was important for a woman and he didn't believe our role was that of housewife and mother (though he did think that was my mothers role).

Thus three children grew up in this environment and as adults all three of us in many ways are like chalk and cheese. I grew up with a fierce sense of independence,a determination to earn my living and to be economically independent. I live life on my terms but it came with a huge burden of responsibility. I believe it was my role to give back for all that I got,and for me that meant looking after my parents in old age,providing every comfort that I could afford. I married late (by Indian standards) as I was pretty sure that marriage should be a meeting of minds to be successful . My eldest sister was married very young and had two children in quick succession and for many years we didn't know too much of how she lived her life. While we didn't know too much,she in many ways also lived life on her terms,doing all the things that she enjoyed and a bit like my father she was and absent daughter,no phone calls no letters and few visits....things changed once she got older and now we see more of her. Both of us like our father like the good things in life,we will go after it,hunt out our food and drink to the extent that it is one of our prime passions. We have varied interests and seem to have a lot of fun....we have picked up a lot of traits of our mother but to a large extent a lot of our father can be seen in us.

My. Idle sister like most middle children remains a mystery. She like my mother is conservative to the point of being hilarious. She lives by rules,demands that rules are followed,even when they defy logic. She is a bit of a loner and is almost as negative as my mother but like my mother her heart is in the right place. She can be dependable but can also be overbearing . She like my mother has made sulking a fine art and will always have her way. She is as anxious as my mother and has very little of my father except for his domineering ways.

Today as we enter the twilight years of our lives I look back and wonder how three people who grew up in the same environment can be so different to each other. Does genetics or environment change our lives. What really makes us who we are.? I think the jury is still out on that one but I wait to see how the three of us will shape up in our seventies and eighties. Will we end up being crotchety old maids or will we be the merry wives of Windsor . Only time will tell